Here is some of what I've discovered in the past couple of months.
1) If my house is messy, so is my brain. If i leave just one or two dishes in the sink after doing all the others, it's like I'm leaving an unresolved stress in the back of my mind to worry about through the night. (and the day)
2) Sleep=Sanity. being overtired is a real thing. not just for our little guys, but for us too! every time i get to bed too late and then wake up at 5am for work the next morning, i spend the entire night waking up in a panicked leap to catch an imaginary Holden crawling off the bottom or edge of the bed. If i go too many nights without proper rest, the nightmares get worse and i eventually wake up standing in the hall. You have to grab as much sleep as your little one will allow you, or you will go crazy, for realsies.
3)When I eat like crap, I feel like crap. When i feel like crap, my hormones go berserk like they did in immediate post pregancyness. If i force myself to drink water and herbal tea all day long, I don't have room for excess crap to munch on. Even if there isn't time to exercise or i don't have the patience to count calories, if i drink water all day I don't overeat. I'm finding that fruit doesn't cost as much as i thought it did and I'm totally regretting not buying more of it in the past solely cause i thought it wasn't in the budget.
4)If you lock yourself in your apartment, you and your child get super cabin feverish and ornery. Walks are miracle workers. When it's freezing outside, I take Holden to the mall to watch the kids play in the play area there. The instant Dallin and I get another car, I plan on taking him to the public library at least twice a week. They have special play groups and events for children there. And its fun to just read books too. Holden is finally getting to the age where he has preferences for certain books and movies and gets genuinely excited when you read to him or let him watch Despicable Me. We may or may not have watched that one 3 times already this week.
5)I have to get ready for the day. Not every day, but the majority of the time. Even if the only people who see me that day are Dallin and Holden. It helps me to feel like a person instead of this faceless, mindless robot constantly cleaning or working or just watching my child, growing more and more exhausted throughout the day. If i put on make up and do my hair, I actually enjoy my day more because i'm not getting lost in my own insecurities. That may sound like a shallow resolution, but it's really more of a way to bring back familiarity of my old life in the midst of all the new, rather than just feeling good about the way I look.
I'm finding that every day brings a new challenge but also new solutions. Being a mom is wonderful. Being Holden's mom is the best. I love this little boy so much. I'm praying that my brain will eventually reconnect with my body and someday soon I won't be quite so scatterbrained.
On another note, Holden turned 9 months yesterday. I don't know where my baby has dissappeared to. I have a little boy now. He's crawling and pulling up on everything. He's even cruising a little bit. Our house is a perpetual task to be cleaned up and reorganized but it's worth it to watch him exploring and discovering so many new and interesting things. It's amazing how much having a little guy changes your perspective on everything. It brings magic and fear and joy and wonderment back into your life. I love my little man. I couldn't ask for a better son. I seriously LOVE being his mother.
If you couldn't tell, this boy loves his daddy and he loves the boxes daddy brings home from work. :)
1 comment:
I cannot believe it's been 9 months already! I feel like you were just pregnant! Welcome back to the blogging world :) Once I learned I could print my blog into a book it kept me wanting to keep up on it! Hey maybe I will see at the RS Dinner tomorrow?!
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